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GAMELANDO: A day in ‘Grand Theft Auto Online’

October 9, 2013

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Carnage on camera

As many of you have probably heard or experienced by now, Grand Theft Auto V is arguably one of the pinnacles of modern gaming. It sets a new standard for open-world immersion and frankly, few games have been this fun to explore. Between the towering skyscrapers of Los Santos to the sprawling, mountain-filled countryside, no two players have the same experience traversing this absolutely massive game.

One of the more recent features to release for the game itself has been the eagerly anticipated Grand Theft Auto Online. It’s unfortunately been off to a rocky start, with a few glitches and many players not being able to log in at all. Lucky for me and my friend Lee, we didn’t have to put up with those pains too long and we set out to explore the untamed wilderness. This blog chronicles a full day in the life of Gamelando’s Grand Theft Auto Online avatar. Let’s suit up and take some selfies!

I started my day by logging into the game. Lee was there to meet me … I’m the sharp-looking guy on the left.

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Our first order of business: Skip festively through the most badass field of flowers we could find in celebration of our virtual friendship.

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Once we had our fill, Lee and I decided to kick the day off right by stealing a plane from a nearby airstrip.


… passed by a pretty wind-farm …


… glanced longingly at the terrain, and decided to fly “up”…


… like, way up. Seriously, look at that view. We decided it was time to set our sights on the ground, land this metal bird, and hijack a car.


… and hijack we did. JOYRIDE TIME!

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So we started by plowing through a vineyard like a couple of ferociously drunken winos. The poor guy in the middle never saw us coming.

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But the cops witnessed the whole thing … the sneaky bastards. So we booked it up the nearest mountain. The funny thing about driving up mountains, though …

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… eventually, you have to come down.

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… Shit.

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We narrowly escaped our sinking automobile and made it to shore just in time to find JET SKIS. How convenient!

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Then, in celebration of escaping the police, we ramped off some rocks and acted like great big jet-ski douchebags …

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… until the sun set over the water.

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As we grabbed a few nearby vehicles, night was quickly approaching. We decided it was time to head into the city and partake in some of the nightlife …

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… so we made it rain for a little while. A few virtual lap-dances later, Lee and I drunkenly stumbled out the door of the strip club. He wanted to drive around the city like a liquored-up idiot. But if it’s nighttime in a Grand Theft Auto game, there’s only one tradition I want to uphold.

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So I found a hooker …

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… and then I killed the hooker.

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… and then Lee did an Irish jig on her corpse.

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To our complete surprise, the cops found us once again. This time, they weren’t so merciful.

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Lee and I spent the night running from them as gallantly as we could, but they eventually surrounded us – curtains. Day eventually broke and we got out of Dodge. Our day in San Andreas had ended. But before saying goodbye to the beautiful city and logging out, I bid my friend Lee farewell in a way one can only in a virtual paradise …

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… I shot him in the head.

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