YOUR DAILY WEEKLY READER: Rose Bowl Parade arrests; Rick Scott’s piss; my right foot; Crist’s goofball apology; suicide solution. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ORCAS, GAYS AND ROSES!: “A total of 19 people were arrested in connection with a protest of the SeaWorld float during the 2014 Tournament of Roses Parade, authorities said Wednesday. ‘They attempted to stand and stomp in front of the float to delay its progress,’ Lt. Terysa Rojas of the Pasadena Police Department told KTLA 5. Among those taken into custody were 18 adults and one juvenile, according to police. Lt. Rojas said the demonstrators were arrested before they were able to hinder any of the parade’s progress. The demonstrators were booked for a Pasadena municipal violation of ‘interfering with special events,’ according to police. The charge is a misdemeanor. Another group of protesters gathered to rally against the same-sex marriage float. No arrests were made in regard to that float, police said.” (via KTLA)
NOPE, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO PISS IN A CUP IN ORDER TO BEG FOR PUBLIC ASSISTANCE, BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND THAT’S JUST PUBLIC SHAMING: “Middle District of Florida Judge Mary Scriven granted summary judgment on behalf of Luis Lebron a Navy veteran, college student and single father from Orlando. Lebron refused to submit to a drug test, arguing that requiring him to pay for and submit to one is unreasonable when there is no reason to believe he uses drugs. Lebron was represented by the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida. Scriven wrote that the court ‘finds there is no set of circumstances under which the warrantless, suspicionless drug testing at issue in this case could be constitutionally applied.’ Scott’s 2010 campaign promise to enact the drug tests is one of dozens of promises PolitiFact Florida is tracking on our Scott-O-Meter. In another promise related to welfare, we gave Scott a Promise Broken for failing to enact more stringent standards related to work requirements for welfare.” (via Politifact)
YOU GUYS, I TORE MY PLANTAR FASCIA WHILE PLAYING WITH MY SISTER’S KIDS OVER THE HOLIDAYS! NOW I’M WEARING A BOOT!: “The plantar fascia is a tough band of connective tissue that runs along the sole of the foot, connecting the calcaneus—or heel bone—to the bases of the toes. By doing so, it stabilizes the arch of the foot and assists in coordinating the very complex biomechanics of normal gait. Unfortunately, just like any other tissue in the body, the plantar fascia can inflame and even tear.” (via Bleacher Report)
BUT I’M NOT TAKING IT LYING DOWN, BECAUSE BOY GEORGE:
OH LOOK! CHARLIE CRIST, WHO FAMOUSLY WOULDN’T SIT DOWN WITH US, SAT DOWN WITH THE PUBLISHER OF WATERMARK TO SPILL SOME SOCIAL-ISSUE SYRUP. HILARITY ENSUED: “The examples you cited were examples of me trying to be a good Republican. I couldn’t do it anymore, and I’m sorry I did. I made a mistake. I’m not perfect… please don’t hold me to that standard. And I’m sincerely sorry. I understand when it’s necessary to say I was wrong. That‘s the journey I’m on… and I’m still on it. As a Republican, on social issues I always felt I was a round peg in a square hole. I just didn’t fit. But I tried, until I couldn’t do it any more… until I had to say, ‘Enough is enough.’” (via Watermark)
THE SADDEST SUICIDE STORY THAT NEARLY RUINED OUR BROKEN-FOOTED HOLIDAY. LIKE, REALLY SAD: “In the end, I wasn’t able to return the favor. I tried. I caught her that first time, a little skeleton in her bed, strung out on way too many pills. I drove her to the hospital and called my family. We checked her into the psych ward and tried so hard to convince her of her self-worth. But Lydia was too busy becoming a ghost. Lydia wanted to take her life and she did, some 12 years after she visited Anna and me at our college. She was 28 and her depression was realer than mine had been, less childish; not self-inflicted, but real and deep and hard-wired and inescapable, and ultimately we were powerless to stop her. We loved her and we tried but we couldn’t help her. She was strong-willed and stubborn and lost, and she’d made up her mind to become the ghost that would haunt the halls of her choosing, the ghost that will haunt me until I join her on the other side.” (via the Atlantic)
BUT THEN WE ATE BLACKEYED PEAS AND GOT HAPPY AGAIN! HAPPY NEW YEAR!: