Call it destiny: Dunkin Donuts reinvents the breakfast sandwich
America’s two biggest exports are innovation and obesity, and miraculously enough, Dunkin Donuts has found a way to combine both into one quintessentially American breakfast sandwich. Fasten your belt buckles, people, because this is Manifest Destiny like you’ve never seen it before.
This Friday is National Donut Day, and to celebrate, Dunkin Donuts will release its new product on the national level: The Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich. (Competition for Krispy Kreme!) At first glance, this sandwich is seemingly run-of-the-mill, containing the expected fried egg and bacon innards of your average fast food breakfast delicacy. Nothing looks too suspicious. But then, we zoom in to find that this is no ordinary sandwich. Dunkin Donuts goes where no breakfast chain has gone before, refuting the simplistic bagel, denying the quaint biscuit, and spitting on the sensible flat bread round. No, the breakfast sandwich of the future is held together with all the integrity and audacity of a glazed donut. (Take that, China!)
This new sandwich touts 360 calories, 20 grams of fat, and 720 mg of sodium, fewer calories and sodium mgs, and barely more fat than Dunkin’s Turkey Sausage Breakfast Sandwich, part of its DDSMART Menu. (390 Calories, 17 gs of fat, 860 mgs of sodium.) Even the new GDBS’s counterparts at McDonald’s, Panera Bread and Starbucks have more calories and higher sodium content that Dunkin’s newest creation.
So, whether or not we want to obsess over how ridiculously disgusting/brilliant this new menu item is, a few things are clear:
– Stan Frankenthaler, DD’s Executive Chef and Vice President of Global Product Innovation, is probably an evil-genius marketing guru for conceptualizing this revolutionary donut-sandwich hybrid.
– This sandwich is going to attract attention, not necessarily because it’s a culinary victory, but because it’s exceptionally odd, following in the footsteps of Burger King’s Bacon Sundae of last summer and Taco Bell’s recent Beefy Crunch Burrito (which features Fritos as a filling).
– America remains the land of the free and the home of the brave—as if we were worried. Keep your fat tax, Denmark! We will eat fatty pork strips on sugar-flavored, sugar-coated bread and like it! After all, America runs on Dunkin.