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Film Festival reviews: COCKNEYS VS. ZOMBIES

April 8, 2013
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COCKNEYS VS. ZOMBIES

★★★★

British people are so fucking cool. They talk fast, they’re cheeky as hell, and their old people are all ornery like a bunch of brilliant, snarly dog-people with cool accents.

All of this (and more!) is why a title like Cockneys vs. Zombies would probably generate a lot of intrigue. I mean, why the hell not, right? A bunch of foul-mouthed rogues tearing apart hordes of undead, still making time to shout silly banter while their friends are being eaten alive. Rejoice!

It all starts with “the discovery” – you know, how the zombies get out: two hopeless chumps that, out of greed (and just a touch of idiocy), open a tomb full of the undead. Sure, the characters are cartoony, but this flick really doles out its own chops and belongs in the collection of every drunken, horror-loving git.
There are some small hiccups, like a few cheap, post-processed blood spatters throughout the movie, but scenes like the punting of a zombie-baby into a billboard or a chase between a “walker” and an old man with a walker (both move at the same speed) are worth the price of admission.

The dialogue is often spectacular and filled to the brim with a cast of witty, Britty underdogs. Our main characters retain enough humanity to keep the story somewhat believable, though you may get the vibe that too much of the delivery is played with a big ol’ wink. After all, there’s a fine line between “hilarious because I can relate” and “cute, but this movie keeps me at arm’s length because everybody is so completely over the top.” This one has a healthy amount of both and teeters dangerously toward the latter, but the charm of the balls-out absurdity won me over in the end.

Cockneys vs. Zombies is a sandbox of carnage that makes The Walking Dead crew look like a bunch of whiny tossers. See? I can’t stop saying British things! – Adam McCabe

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  • bob

    Why was the F-word not censored

  • Adam McCabe

    With all due respect to your gratuitous sarcasm, why would you let your son read a review on a gory, language-filled, R-rated film?