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GORELANDO: Movie Review: ‘Eaters’

February 27, 2013
By

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Luca Boni and Marco Ristori breathe new life into the walking dead…and it’s weird-as-hell.

For years, Uwe Boll has been Italy’s douchebag filmmaker of “Michael Bay” proportions (not as many explosions), and is oftentimes Hollywood’s go-to-guy for bastardizing game-to-film adaptations. He’s tried his hand at horror a few times, but they usually come across incredibly contrived. See, Uwe’s biggest fan is Uwe and his films are usually so far up their own asses, they could lick their tonsils and lap back around for seconds. So for this runaround, he decided to take a backseat and recruit Italian filmmakers Luca Boni and Marco Ristori to handle all the tough artsy-fartsy filmmaking stuff. Enter Eaters, a new-wave zombie flick with an indie film heartbeat, confident sense of pacing, and more over-the-top, whacked-out characters than you can shake a severed limb at!

Let me explain the plot: Blah blah blah, zombie outbreak. A lone scientist and two zombie hunter blah blahs may be humanity’s final hope to stop the blah blah. Sound familiar? Who cares. It’s all in the execution (pun intended), and Eaters really nails the sick claustrophobia that comes with being consumed face-to-face by the walking dead. It’s a playground and this movie likes to watch you squirm, to make sure you know just how much work Luca and Marco put into creating some of the most grotesquely-intriguing man-eaters in the genre. In a market over saturated with the zombie apocalypse, that’s quite a feat and I’m giving credit where it’s due.

On another note, the soundtrack by Steve Sylvester (founder of black metal band Death SS) has a great 1970’s horror/sci-fi swell to it. It provides some light-hearted ambient cheese for the very disturbing imagery that saturates this bloodbath of a film. It’s not until you’re knee-deep in the stuff of nightmares that you can truly appreciate the audio alchemy put to work here.

Every actor came to work for this one. There’s really something about the sometimes-bombastic cast that holds a real charm, and it’s what sets this one apart from the others. I had to ask myself “In any other film, would these people bore the shit out of me?” to which I immediately responded “Yes”. These characters aren’t over-acted by any means…they’re just very aware of the world in which they exist, and seem to have a very cohesively-jaded fucked-up nature about them. For me, especially in horror films where it’s your job to have audiences believe the sickeningly-impossible, that kind of confidence and bravado is the sign of a great couple of filmmakers. Don’t miss this one.

4Skulls

Oh, and watch it with subtitles and the original Italian language track…I swear the english dubbing was commandeered by porn stars.