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Heavyset woman heists Hulk Hogan’s $5,500 shoe

March 20, 2014
By
The alleged footwear thief.

The alleged footwear thief.

Police in Clearwater are seeking information regarding a heavyset white female in her 50s who is believed to have committed what should be referred to as a Pinellas Screwjob. Last Sunday, the woman and three friends entered Hulk Hogan’s Beach Shop on Mandalay Avenue at 5:16 p.m. under the guise of being spring breakers perusing ocean-related wares peddled by the wrestling legend (who is local to the area). Four minutes later, the colorful statue of Hogan that rests at the store’s entrance was knocked over; during the commotion, a vintage wrestling shoe autographed by the Hulkster was swiped.

The shoe, valued at $5,500, is a white Cardillo easily identified by Hogan’s distinctive signature done in black marker. Anyone who can help locate the missing shoe or the party responsible for its theft is encouraged to call Clearwater PD at 727-562-4242. Rowdy Roddy Piper is not a suspect at this time.

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  • MW

    What the hell does her weight or being “heavyset” have anything to do with the story?

  • JigglyBits

    There are times when you have to narrow down the field.
    If the police said “a person stoles shoes”, there isn’t much to go on to find said person.

    Then if we state that the person is female, we know to look for boobs. Or, at least that is the first thing I look for when discussing females.

    That eliminates 49% of the world.

    Now, add the fact that she is white. The field gets smaller.

    She gots that meat on them bones… that narrows the search some more.

    If she had a hideous mole like the principal in Uncle Buck, that would be helpful information as well. As well as details about any facial tattoos, missing digits, or anything that helps this one person stand out from the grand sea of people shuffling around the Earth.

    Not to mention, some folks like to poke fun at chubby people who steal shoes from iconic American heroes.

  • MW

    Oh no, i totally understand why descriptors are necessary…in the description but not as the headline. Its just feels jarring, offensive and off-putting. Imagine if the headline read “Black man steals Hulk Hogan’s shoes.” I agree it would be important to include a list of characteristics within the article so that people could be on the look out and aid the police but having it in the headline looks like they’re trying to make her weight comical which, again, has little, scrach that-nothing, to do with the crime and makes the writers look like a–holes. “Florida woman heists Hogan’s shoes” sounds adequate.

  • JigglyBits

    If it read “Black man steals Hulk Hogan’s shoes” that would be a blatant lie and piss poor reporting. Stop being silly.

    Although, if the headline talked about a black man stealing shoes, it would attract a bunch of the people that were pro-secession(*cough* Klan members) commentors to plaster this articles with racist comments. But that would be a very thinly veiled attempt at attention seeking.

  • CoughKlan

    If it read, “Black Man Steals …” it wouldn’t be news

  • MW

    JigglyBits, I mean if it read “Black man steals” IF it was a black man not if it was this woman, obviously, I’m not talking about changing the story. You misread what I was trying to say.