COUNCIL WATCH!: Liveblogging your city at work
Good afternoon! How was your weekend??? Do you still have knees? Lucky. Anyway, we are about to dive into City Council for both the shits and the giggles. There’s a lot to get our heads around this week: Uh, the city just spent $2 million buying land from the Black Business Investment Fund (see: former Commissioner Daisy Lynum) for the new soccer stadium only to remember that said BBIF has a big old $800k debt to the city (among other debts), the council will hear a second read on an ordinance to its anti-discrimination clause (Ch. 57) to ensure that sexual identity is included (hooray!), new Commissioner Regina Hill has just experienced her first real controversy via her aide having some drinks, and the city will spend a lot of money on things like signage and hookers and blow. OK, just signage. Anyway, it’s almost time to start! Join us, won’t you?
2:04 p.m.: Hmmm, nothing yet folks. Although we are hearing that there was bit of “Save Tinker Field” conflamma this morning. Maybe everyone has heartburn?
2:12 p.m.: Buddy Dyer ONLY wears searsucker suits. Today was “searsucker” day and only he played along. Funny. OK, now Jim Gray is kissing some serious mayoral tang and making everyone sing “Happy Birthday” to him. AGE JOKES!!!! Wait, it’s also aboutz to be Tony Ortiz’s birthday, and Buddy Dyer just sang “Happy Birthday, Mr. T.” WHAT? Oh, and it’s also about to be Regina Hill’s birthday on Friday. Everyone’s parents were drunk at Christmas.
2:22 p.m.: HOLD PLEASE. WE’RE TALKING ABOUT BLOOD DRIVES. NO JOKES ALLOWED.
2:27 p.m.: ALSO, UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTS WATCHING THE BOONE HIGH ROWING TEAM, BECAUSE I CAN’T MAKE JOKES ABOUT BOONE ROWING, OR BOONE, BECAUSE I LIVE RIGHT THERE UP THE STREET FROM BOONE. Still, Orange shirts are always a win. GO BRAVES!
2:29 P.M.: “We still have troubles,” reads this PowerPoint page seeking money from the city. We all have troubles, Boone. You should see how often I bruise my feet on weekends.
2:35 p.m.: MAYOR’S UPDATE!!!!! The mayor is super proud of the Ch. 57/transgender thing, noting that there are not angry snake handlers surrounding Queen Gina Duncan and screaming ugliness in her beautiful face. (That’s not what he said, really, but sorta). AWESOME.
2:37 p.m.: “Lively discussion this morning” about Tinker Field resulted in the commission pulling the item from the simple MPB minutes approval. Ooooh, activism.
2:38 p.m.: Patty Sheehan is on fire. Actually, she is not but her district is. Somebody is burning down houses in Eola/Thornton between 10 pm. and 2 am. MAYBE MY OLD HOUSE? I should probably check on that.
2:39 p.m.: Sheehan is “delighted” about the gender identity piece. She’s almost crying. “Let’s take yes for an answer and move this forward quickly,” she says. We all want a short meeting, Patty.
2:40 p.m.: Regina Hill pronounces “Nike” without the accented “e.” We should all know this. She also had an excellent night out for National Night Out, meaning cop stuff. But will she talk about the other cop stuff? Wink, wink?
2:43 p.m.: NO. THAT IS THE ANSWER. SHE HAS NO OTHER CONCERNS.
2:44 p.m.: My private Sam Ings moratorium continues.
2:46 p.m.: Is that the sound of paint drying? It sounds a lot like paint drying. It also sounds a little bit like a throat massage.
2:47 p.m.: Commissioner Jim Gray has been dropped into this scene from 1972; so uncomfortable is his suit. Gray is presently speaking about complaints in his district from residents who hate the hiring process for the venues. So Gray, as sassy as he could, cornered the venues guy and let him know that he was concerned. The result: Jim Gray is very confident in the venues guy. Of course.
2:49 p.m.: Sometimes Tony Ortiz is like a floating mustache, and sometimes he is like your grumbling uncle. Presently he is showing a clip of some district performance of Lion King. Looks a little stripped down from the touring performance, though. Oh, high school.
2:51 p.m.: Children. Somersaulting. Everywhere. Ugh.
2:52 p.m.: So, exactly who paid the licensing fees for “Circle of Life” at City Hall?
2:54 p.m.: For the love of Tim Rice and Elton John and animalia, please stop.
2:55 p.m.: ANN-HOWSER-BUSCH-AND-BUTT-LITE. Thanks for making my day, Mr. T.
2:56 p.m: My future ex-husband Robert Stuart is trying to make Rosemont happen again. “We did ours on the Wiz,” Stuart says, apropos of nothing (and everything!) Oh, he’s talking about kids and Broadway. “And you’ll owe me a drink later on for that.” Come hither, Master Stuart.
2:58 p.m.: “Today is the world’s larges golf outing,” says Stuart. Because, Monday. Because rain. Because August. Because Wounded Warrior Project (no hate, folks). Because one million dollars. “He looks as big as his dad; he can run,” Stuart says about nothing that I can comprehend. BUT, Stuart IS wearing a searsucker suit, so he totally beats out Jim Gray on the asskiss brigade.
3:01 p.m.: Consent agenda has been “so moved.”
3:02 p.m.: Let’s talk CRA, shall we? CRA Board Meeting minutes from back in April, because it’s still Easter in a searsucker.
3:04 p.m.: Lawanna Gelzer is pissed about the BBIF deal, naturally. She also just called Margaret Mead “Martha” Mead. BUT, she’s totally right. The payback period, INTEREST FREE, is bullshit. $50k a year for an $800k debt? Slaps on hands if they miss a payment? Gelzer is also mad that there have been no public impact studies about tearing up Parramore. She can’t find her “corporate welfare” sign, she says. SHE CAN’T BELIEVE SHE CAN’T FIND IT. She did find her “File 13″ garbage can, so she can so how the “voiceless” are treated by the council. Apparently she was chided (bullied) by someone on the dais earlier, but we can’t be sure which one. “Because we’re different does not give you the right to silence my voice,” she says. “I don’t break the law like some of you do,” she says. We are guessing this particular schooling is in the direction of Commissioner Hill, because Parramore. WHAT DID TRANSPIRE EARLIER TODAY? Gelzer is going to bring in national people to comb the crabs out of the city’s dealings.
3:12 p.m.: Some guy named Jose is also very mad about the BBIF thing. He’s a construction guy and maybe they screwed him over before? Also special treatment for the BBIF, because nobody talks about the BBIF anymore.
3:15 p.m.: Commissioner Hill just approved the BBIF thing; so did Sam Ings. ALL OF THIS IS SO SURPRISING.
3:17 p.m.: WE’RE ON TO GENDER IDENTITY!!!!! No discrimination in employment, govt housing, etc. This is a pretty big deal. WOW, TONY ORTIZ MOVED IT FIRST? WHAT? Two appearance request cards…. Let’s see.
3:19 p.m.: “Thank you for the history that we trust you will make today.” TEARS, YOU GUYS. Lisa Tillman (Rollins) is flashing back to the old Ch. 57 vote and how crazy it was. “Toxic hateful rhetoric and outright lies,” back in 2002. Also, back in the day, gender identity had to be written out of Ch. 57 because their weren’t votes. “How telling that it has taken 12 years” to make this happen.
3:23 p.m.: HOORAY FOR GINA DUNCAN!!!!! “It cannot be understated or overstated how important this is,” she says. “The transgender community is running to catch up.” SHE JUST PRESENTED TO THE COUNCIL A TRANSGENDER PRIDE FLAG. I WANT ONE.
3:25 p.m.: Sheehan recalls 2002 and the Friday before the vote when all the pro-votes fell off in the transgender favor. Sheehan knew Duncan before transition, and this is pretty amazing. Why does Patty Sheehan have to apologize for the assholes from before? Because politics.
3:28 p.m.: RECYCLING ORDINANCE, or just basically giving recycling biz to a company. IT’S A ROLL-OFF FRANCHISE!
3:31 p.m.: This is the way Council ends; not with a bang but a roll off (and EQUALITY!!!) Happy Monday, pill poppers.