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An April Fools retrospective: eating manatee steaks and Capital Orlando

April 1, 2014
By

I’m sure you’ve spent much of your April Fool’s Day catching them all on your Google maps app and perusing the new product offerings over at ThinkGeek. Seriously, though a PBR stein is not that bad of an idea, amirite?

We here at Orlando Weekly didn’t want to inundate you with more of the same fake news. Oh, sure, we threw around some ideas like an unfrozen Walt Disney holding a super-secret press conference and Lou Perlman planning to run for Mayor of Orlando. You know, in 2029, when he gets released. Ultimately, we decided to share a couple of our April Fool’s best-ofs with you:

Eat at Doug’s: At Dougs, you can munch on some Florida-raised dugong steak. What’s dugong, you ask? Our state animal, the manatee. 

Somewhere in Volusia County, in a patch of scrub pine dense enough to block the wind but not the sun, is a sinister-looking building — a cross between a house and a shack — that looks like the kind of place you’d find corpses stacked like cordwood. There’s a loud, gas-powered generator droning away near the side, and a bright orange extension cord running up through a boarded window. A small, hand-lettered, cardboard sign on the door reads, “dougs.” No apostrophe.

Capital Orlando: We stumbled on the blueprints for the new Florida State Capital plans. Here’s a preview, click for the rest of the story:

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  • geoff

    I’m sorry. Manatee meat should be farmed daily, supple chunks of perfectly marbled slow twitch fibered seagrass fed perfection on every grill!

  • JigglyBits

    You cannot be seriously!

    The manowar is a majestic creature that should be protected above all else. They’re like fat emo vegetarian teens and cannot protect themselves.